Over the next week your mission is to prepare the steps for using time-out.

Preparing Timeout

Toolkit Reminder

Coming up next in episode 3 learn how to manage high risk situations. 

Choose a location with toys to keep them quiet

Put yourself in time-out instead, hide till the mayhem passes

Try keeping your kids in time-out ‘til they turn 18

Slide their meals under the door 3 times a day

Ask your child repeatedly to do something, give up, drink or cry or both

Take a deep breath, yell to get your child’s attention, take them to time-out

Approach your child, give them stop-start instructions, time-out if needed

Ignore your child’s misbehaviour as long as you can, explode, put yourself in time-out

Misbehaviour, straight to time-out, child comes out when they’re ready

A family moment at the dinner table escalates. Bring peace to the home... or peas might fly!

dad cooking, daughter dances annoyingly on tablet

Ignore her/walk over to her/take away the device/ask her to stop 

Dad ignores loud child, child continues making noise 

A child disrupting the household, and intentionally being so loud that it’s hard to hear others – isn’t a behavior to shrug off.

Try Again

The misbehavior is frustrating but it’s important to not over react and get Sandy even more wound up.

Before asking your child to stop the behavior, from a distance, there’s another step you can take.

Repeat your instruction/take away the device 

Taking the device, without first giving clear instructions, isn’t helpful. In fact, you should give clear instructions up to 

On top of that, raising your voice only escalates the situation.

Reward her behavior (Even if you don't feel like it)

Dad rewarding child's good behaviour & dinner starting

Explain in detail why she needs to follow the rules

Tell her she’s not going to visit her friend

Giver her a quick smack/explain the rules/tell her she can't visit her friend/time for time-out

Research shows that physical discipline - even just a light tap on the hand - doesn’t improve behavior. In fact, it’s likely to lead to more behavior problems in the future, like aggression.

There are more effective consequences for misbehavior than smacking - so there’s no need for physical discipline in any situation.

Don’t fall into the trap of talking too much, when children misbehave.

Your extra attention can be rewarding for children, since they learn that misbehaving is a good way to catch your eye.

Dad telling child she can't visit her friend 

Taking away social events can be devastating to a child, if they’re looking forward to it. It could even be harmful to their social development.

Also, keep in mind, delaying a consequence for a future moment makes it less effective. (Like not being able to visit a friend later or play with a certain toy.)

Apply a consequence right when the misbehavior happens and not later.

Taking away social events can be devastating to a child

Repeat your instructions/warn her about time-out/take her to time-out

As part of your discipline plan, repeat instructions twice only before using a time-out.

Two instructions are enough for children to know what you expect from them. Repeating instructions too many times runs the risk of you not being taken seriously.

Sandy has refused to listen multiple times, so try a different strategy.

Repeat instructions twice only before using a time-out

Warning (or threatening) to give time-out only heightens the situation. If you give threats, kids will wait until you’ve gotten to that level before responding.

After giving 2 instructions, it’s time to act — not warn.

Warning (or threatening) to give time-out only heightens the situation.

It’s completely natural to want to comfort your upset child. But mis-timed affection can actually reinforce misbehavior.

Remember, your time and attention are the greatest rewards you can give your child. And a reward is not what you should give in this moment.

Don’t worry, things will get easier and it won’t feel so tough.

Mis-timed affection can actually reinforce misbehaviour

Ask for an apology/Remind her why she was in time-out/Tell her she’s completed time-out

Don’t try to force an apology now. It’s best to move on and discuss later, when you’re both calmer.

Dad reminds child why she was in time-out 

Now is not the time to revisit the problem behavior. It could re-escalate the situation. Remember, keep discipline brief.

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